Many women feel ready to have a baby. They have read the books, watched the videos and if you are like me, you had lots of experience around kids. All of these steps create the illusion that we will be ready and equipped to handle motherhood.
But many women feel confused and overwhelmed when it is much harder than they expected. And then they internalize that somehow they are a failure.
They feel like a bad mom because they are having a harder time than they imagined. They may even have moments of missing their old life and then feel even worse that they are not enjoying being a mom the way they thought they would. They are not able to think about their partner the way they used to. And sex – that is likely the last thought on your mind which turns into another reason to feel like a failure because now it may feel that you are failing as a partner.
All of the self-judgement and criticism is hard on moms and it is completely not fair. This is a hard job (which people don’t talk honestly enough about) and you are doing your best and it will get better.
You deserve compassion, support and grace!