It is hard to feel warm, loving and patient with your partner when you are exhausted and probably haven’t had two seconds to yourself in days. It can feel like your life has changed in every single way while their life has not been so dramatically impacted.
I remember wanting my partner to know what the heck I needed and just do it. I then felt frustrated, annoyed and maybe even a little hurt that he wasn’t there for me in the way I needed. The challenge was – I expected him to read my mind and know what I needed. Which clearly wasn’t fair or realistic.
You and your partner are going through one of the biggest changes in your relationship. It is normal to feel frustrated and have tense moments. Sleep deprivation definitely does not help.
Here are a few strategies to help:
1. Try to remember you are both doing your best, even if it doesn’t always feel like it
2. Your partner cannot read your mind, nor can you read his – you both need to work on letting the other know what is going on for you and what you need
3. Try to create a plan where you each get a longer stretch of sleep – that works wonders to improve overall coping
4. You and your partner are a team and need to find ways to work as a team together to manage life and your family. If you aren’t on the same team, things will unravel
5. If you are getting stuck having the same fight over and over again, think about reaching out to a couples therapist. It can make a big difference
Your relationship with your partner is one of the most important relationships you will have. It takes work to nurture it, but it is one of the best gifts you can give your child.
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